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“Being able to express with confidence – passion. This comes in various flavors from innate communication, enthusiasm for their pleasure over yours, endurance, recovery time, prolonged delights (not in a hurry), stress-released massages, and accommodating pleasures.”
“The understanding that life isn’t like porn. Sometimes you finish too early. Sometimes your back hurts, and you have to go easy. Sometimes you just want regular-ass missionary.”
“I’ve learned a lot of foreplay does wonders for both partners or multiple partners.”
“Long term: Communication. Communicating your needs and desires as well as giving constructive feedback. This skill will literally “make” you the best lover for your partner.
Short term: Attentiveness in men. Confidence in women.”
“Good hygiene is a start.”
“When someone says “keep going” or “just like that”, keep doing that thing. Don’t try to over perform.”
“I would say a spouse, significant other, or lover that actually wants to have sex with you after they have paired up with you. There are so many that “play the game” to make you feel loved, needed, desired. Then after the game is won (by whatever metric they have in their head), they stop playing. They stop initiating the sex and stop responding to the initiation attempts of the other party.
All this does is leave the other half of the relationship wondering what they did wrong, why they are no longer needed, loved, and the big one…desired. The biggest gut-punch comes from the lost feeling of desirability.”
“Aftercare. Whether you have kinky sex or just plain vanilla, the best skill and one of the most essential skills to have is being able to be attentive to each other’s needs following sex (this could be cuddling, ensuring the other is not hurt, if something went wrong or unexpected during sex, ensuring you take care of your partner, etc.)!”
“Coordinate de orgasm.”
“Mindfulness. The more you are in the moment with your partner, the less time you spend thinking about your performance… or the groceries.”
“Passion and a desire to please. When those aren’t there, it’s just not nearly as fun.”
“Listening. Not just in the bedroom, but outside of it as well. Being a great listener outside the bedroom can make things better in the bedroom.”
“Attentiveness. Reading your partner’s body language and sounds so you pinpoint what they enjoy faster tops any other skill.”
“You need to learn how to lick around the nipples, play by blowing cold air on them, and blowing hot air by exhaling with your open mouth. Also, sucking the nipple in repetitive manners to allow your partner to enjoy the continuity for a minute or two in each variation. Putting your fingers inside her hair touching the back of the head while you kiss is great.
What’s great about being good at sex is your partner is a human being who is reciprocal by nature, so they will give you their best sex in return. Sex is like playing music, you need to understand you will be doing it all your life, so try to get better continuously, and more importantly, enjoy yourself.”
“Basic physical fitness! Because really, for the person on top or “making the movement”, you can get exhausted fast. Don’t forget legs and hips days at the gym.”
“Enthusiasm. I love giving head and it’s the enthusiasm people love and get off to more than just the physical feelings.”
“Sex is not one-sided and there is no single move or speed that makes the other side go crazy. In my opinion, what makes the best lover is following your partner’s reactions, listen to him/her and concentrate on your bond.
Foreplay is a really good way to bond, experiment, and learn each other for both sides. Oral sex is a great thing if you’re into it and don’t force anything that you don’t like or the other side doesn’t like. The effect of a lot of things that you do or they do during sex can depend on the environment, mood, and personal preference. Just be in the moment and act on your instincts.”
“Everyone has different answers, but for me, it’s the pure submissive desire to please.”
“Not overthinking things. At some point in my 30s, I promised myself to try to say/ask for whatever came into my head — without censoring. That was a game-changer for me personally.”
“Attentiveness, confidence, and adaptability. Great sex doesn’t have to be perfect sex. For example, when my partner first enters me during anal, I usually need him to pull out within a few seconds because the initial insertion hurts. So we just kiss and engage in more foreplay for about a minute as my sphincter muscles relax, then I’m usually good to go for another few hours and another few sessions.
Do I wish that he could stay inside me on the initial push? Yeah. I guess that would be “perfect”. But I appreciate that he’s aware of my body language so much so that he doesn’t force it when it’s uncomfortable. It makes me feel confident about being with him, and we both adapt to the situation by still enjoying each other. We don’t have “perfect” sex. We have lots of mind-blowing, phenomenal sex instead.”
“Being able to read your partner’s body language even when you’re getting off yourself.”
“Not so much a skill, but just take your time. Sex in real life is not a porn scene, so there’s no need to rush it.”
“For men, being in the moment and enjoying yourself. Don’t distract yourself while trying not to cum too fast. If your head’s not into it, I can totally tell.”